


A Pre-Apocalyptic Family Meal

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fun, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 20:30:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>End of s4 – bit of Wincest/especially Destiel - Lucifer will soon be freed from hell: What a better timing to have a little family chat about the shipping implying the two future vessels until the implication of their little brother, Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Pre-Apocalyptic Family Meal

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Un repas de famille pré-apocalyptique](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/29943) by MilleyBlack. 



> Hello folks!
> 
> Following a post on Tumblr (That I don't actually remember) I decided to make this, kind of, crack fic? Starring the angels.
> 
> I wrote it, like, something like one year ago in my native language, and I suddenly got the urge to translate it in English. I apologize for the few more than probable mistakes.
> 
> This is mostly a Destiel fanfic, even though they don't really appear in it.
> 
> End of Season 4. One Shot.
> 
> The characters and the settings belongs to the TV Show Supernatural (CW - Robert Singer, Eric Kripke, ect..) not a thing belong to me.
> 
> It is also posted on my FF.net account and on my tumblr

The angels were soldiers of God. Their goals were to defeat Lucifer and his demons and to ensure the Winchester until the promised day.

But they were no less a family. A few days before Sam opens the last seal, they were all together around the same table ... Or more likely, Lucifer by a video conference on a computer screen, and Gabriel insisted for appearing face hidden. Castiel was one of the few absents because he was watching over Dean Winchester to keep their project on him under good watch. Raphael also was, preparing the last preparatories.

It was the perfect time to have a family discussion all together .

"I cannot help noticing" Gabriel finally said , running his eyes into the room, "we're missing a few angels here. Where are gone Hazel ? and Uriel ?

"Oh, Hazel was killed by Uriel" simply said Anna, having some difficulties with taking her cup of tea with her handcuffs. "As it comes to Uriel, I had to kill him when he threatened Castiel."

"No wonder you're in jail, little sister" Lucifer winced, typing on the screen. "Who had the idea of this system ?"

"Take your guess" Michael sighed looking at the screen. "We would not let you rot in hell forever. Not when there is a family meal going on"

"Couldn't we wait until I find my vessel?"

"When you will get your vessel, there will be war, Lucifer." Zachariah said carrying his drink to his lips. "Moreover, it may be rather complicated to have Sam Winchester."

"Strongly agree" Gabriel replied , laughing a little. "He and his brother are totally co -dependent. I once tried to separate them, but nothing to do with that."

"Have you ever heard of Shipping?" Anna asked while taking a sip. "I think we can talk about it here."

"Shipping?" asked Balthazar, who, at the time was much more purer than the public may know.

"It is fashionable" Anna replied with a smile. "Don't you read the discutions on the forums about the prophet's books?"

"Anna , you are talking a foreign language", Michael said quietly.

"It's going to be thousands of years that I 'm not connected to earth" Lucifer sighed. "I am not at all in the game."

"Me, I know" Gabriel erructed. "It is when people imagine two characters like a relationship! For example, an OTP is the perfect couple."

"And fans of Supernatural" Anna continued "the books written about the history of Winchester, often imagine Sam and Dean together."

"Owow - what?" Michael stopped. "Like, the two brothers that me and Lucifer are supposed to take the bodies of?"

"Personally , it doesn't bother me to have a relationship with you, big brother" Lucifer sneered.

"For God's sake" interrupted Gabriel. "Mental images, dammit. Mental images."

"When did you become a prude?" Balthazar laughed. "From what is known from your exploits on earth ..."

"My achievements have nothing to do with my brothers riding each other, okay?

"Here comes the big words" Zachariah sneered. "We speak more of Sam and Dean than Lucifer and Michael."

"No, but can you imagine if there happens to be the shipping which starts between them ?" exclaimed Gabriel. "I mean ... But seriously !"

"Do not worry", Michael reassured. "That will never happen."

"You break all my dreams, Micky." Lucifer sneered through the screen.

"Wait, just, hold on" stopped Balthazar. "Are Sam and Dean together?"

"Of course," said Zachariah. "I mean, is it not obvious?"

"I don't know" Gabriel shrugged. "It's a little too ..."

"Personally, I think Dean is in love with Castiel" Anna slipped by taking a sip.

This simple statement urged everyone to look at her. She was surprised to see so much attention brang on her.

"What did I say ? ... "she asked, surprised.

"Castiel, like, Castiel our little brother?" Gabriel asked incredulously.

"The same Castiel that is currently watching over Dean?" Michael wondered .

"Cassie?" Balthazar exclaimed in shock. "Wait, we're talking about the purest angel in the world and you want me to believe that Winchester is ... ?"

"Well ... It's obvious, right?" Anna said with surprise. "I mean ... You asked Uriel to follow Castiel because of it, right ? Because Castiel was close to Dean?"

"Castiel can close up to any human" Zachariah quipped. "It means nothing."

"You never stayed in the same room with these two." she decreed. "Really it's just ..."

"Hey, Can we stop making me imagine my brothers fucking!" Gabriel growled. "It's getting weird."

"You are the only one with this kind of thinking" says Michael, jaded.

"Nope" Balthazar and Lucifer said with one voice .

"But Cassie, really?" asked Balthazar, definitely not buying it. "It is not a little .. I don't know, too... out of character?"

"That to be said, it can make a good fanfictions" Gabriel emphasized. "The angel perverted by the hunter! Falling for him, denying his brothers!"

"It will never happen!" Zachariah laughed. "We're talking about Castiel."

"I have never seen someone with so much faith" emphasized Balthazar. "And.."falling" ... I mean, it's good for people like Lucifer! No offense."

"None taken" Lucifer nodded.

"But the fact remains that Dean likes him a lot!" Anna replied. "And I thought you knew, that's why you brought Castiel in heaven and had tortured the other day!"

"Excuse me?" offuscated Balthazar .

"Act of Caution" said Zachariah. "He was no longer believing in our plans, it was necessary."

"aah , the family plans" Gabriel scoffed. "What would we do without it."

"Tell the one who ran away", Michael muttered .

"What if we avoid talking about the family plans?" Lucifer interrupted."That's right, soon enough there is the Apocalypse, and all of that. There will be time to talk about the war, no need to break our party."

"Let's go back to the shipping", took Balthazar. "I am interested to know that there are people" - he cast a accusing glance on Anna - "who may think that Castiel would spread his legs fo-"

"STOOOOP!" Gabriel yelled? "Couldn't you stop? We can, like, not be talking about Dean and Sam doing it and not put Castiel in the middle of this?"

"In the middle?" Lucifer scoffed. "It's a concept."

"I hate you, Lucy." Gabriel groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"Well if you want to see it on literal termes ..." Michael teased. "Castiel has touched the soul of Dean."

"He saved him from hell", Anna continued imitating an irritating princess." He obeys to him much more than you think. They are never far apart from each other. And how they loooook at each other, it's true love!"

"Anna wrote a fanfic" Gabriel muttered. "But it seems a little... Y'know imagery?"

"A little too true", Anna corrected .

"I refuse" Balthazar muttered. "I mean, Cassie does not act like that."

"He doess with Winchester!" exclaimed Anna .

"My brother is gay" panicked Balthazar. "Why for Dean Winchester?"

"Let's get things right!" Lucifer said with a smile. "Once I take possession of Sam, I would put him in a relationship with Michael in Dean and then voila, things settled !"

"Not even in dreams!" Michael replied .

"Then I 'll take care of buttocks Sam Winchester and you will take care of Dean's?" simply proposed Lucifer with a mean smile.

"Objection" was surprised Gabriel "Is that what you're gonna do with Sam Winchester instead of just owning it?"

"Why not?" Lucifer sneered.

"Are you creating a new ship?" Balthazar laughed bitterly. "And we forget that Castiel is going to be getting caught by Dean if we let him do ? We don't care Sam's ass!"

"Oh, I forgot" Anna choked laughing. "Balthazar is a little too protective with Castiel."

"How could we forget?" Michael teased. "I remember that you did everything to prevent him from reading the Book of Solomon."

"This book describes how to lay with a woman!" Balthazar was indignant. "Do you realize what Castiel might think? Especially that now, there's Winchester?!"

"I say, Balthazar is jealous!" Gabriel scoffed.

"Ouuutch, it hurts!" Lucifer laughed .

"Gabriel - " tried to calm Zachariah.

"Gabe, What won't you imagine Dean fucking Castiel, then we'll talk!" Balthazar replied .

"It should never happen" said Gabriel, serious again. "Wait, I carried Castiel in my arms when it was still a baby angel, it's just ..."

"I did the same with you, Gabriel" Michael said with a smile. "And now you lay around most of the time."

"I have read the book of Solomon, I knew what to expect! Castiel could not even realizing it!"

"Friendly reminder that we are talking about Castiel's ass when he's not there" reminded Lucifer.

"That's true, Zachariah left him with Dean."

There was a silence at the table for a moment before Lucifer start a mad laughter that was followed by some others. Gabriel and Balthazar, as, as it seems to be, the only responsible brothers were outraged.

"Are you out of your mind?!"

"They just weren't thinking" Anna laughed .

"Come on" Michael reasonable. "We laugh, but none of that could actually happen."

"Unless the fiction becomes reality!" Gabriel panicked. "It starts with 'I fell for you' and then it will end with 'I fell the pants for you' and ..."

"Gabriel!" repressed Balthazar. "Mental images!"

"YOU SEE WHAT I WAS SAYING !"

They were still ready to agrue when the door opened and Castiel came into the room. He was initially surprised to see everyone in this sort of intermission, but he had no time to ask questions, as Balthazar suddenly fell upon him.

"Never experiment the book of Solomon with Winchester, okay? Oh poor Cassie!"

There was definitely something that Castiel did not understand and something told him that he did definitely not want to understand.


End file.
